


Pedro Out

by maycollins



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4547598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maycollins/pseuds/maycollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pedro's watching one of Balthazar's songs and another is recommended to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pedro Out

Peter made sure to watch all of Ben's videos. Just in case, he told himself. After the events of last year, he figured he couldn't be playing it too safe. Who knew what Ben might think it appropriate to post?

For the most part, everything so far had been harmless. Irritating as hell, sure, but that was just Ben. All the hidden cameras and condescending vlogs were fine. All the secret hand gestures and hints about him and Balth were fine.

Last year, every moment, big or small, had been caught on film. Nothing could make him look much worse than that.

He hadn't watched them again since everything had gone down; they all just seemed like a painful reminder of a time he'd really rather not relive and a person he just didn't want to be anymore. He would have tried to get Bea and Ursula and Ben to delete them except that he'd really already done enough, no need to be more of a burden.

These videos seemed a little less dramatic so far, which was a nice change. Some of them were actually kind of refreshing (Peter would be embarassed for anyone to see just how many times he'd replayed the Balth in a Bath ones). It was nice that his flatmates were happy. They deserved to be even if he didn't.

There was something about this one, though, this song that Balthazar just posted that unsettled him a bit. He replayed it then once more because it was good but also because it felt real. And because it maybe felt a little good not to be the only unhappy one.

No, he reminded himself, he was the only one who deserved this. He was the one who had so completely fucked up last year, and he was the one who was supposed to be paying for it.

As he scrolled through the comments, all those strangers who didn't understand like he did, a video recommended on the side caught his eye, and before he had really thought much about it, he was clicking the black and white image with a purple border.

The opening notes played, and Balth's face appeared, so much more carefree than in this more recent one. Peter cringed because had he really been so oblivious?

"This song is hilarious." What had he been thinking.

Then the song went on, and he found himself captivated by the lyrics, by the lies they told. The phrase "all around great guy" seemed so hollow now. And when Balth sang about how he'd never seen him doing anything wrong, Peter couldn't help but scoff aloud. Was ironic forshadowing a thing in real life?

But another part of him, maybe the bit that still clung to Pedro Donaldson wanted it all back, wanted to fit his hand into Balthazar's and be football star and class rep and a guy worth loving. He wanted to take back everything from 2014 and throw it all away and just be himself again.

But that wasn't going to happen, and anyway, he'd probably just screw something else up. The fact of the matter was that Pedro Donaldson was never even a good guy: he was a shit brother and a horrible friend and a selfish human being.

So the only solution was to stop being Pedro Donaldson, to be the exact opposite of Pedro Donaldson, and to do everything right this time around.

He saw the last line of the description: "PEDRO OUT"

Pedro out, Peter in, and thank God for that.


End file.
